But He’s a Good Man: A Shocking Twist to Domestic Violence

When Richie Wilder Jr. was convicted of the brutal slaying of his ex-wife Angila, his new wife Cyndi broke down in tears. “He’s a good man,” she told reporters covering the case. She continued to maintain his innocence until a slip of the tongue to an old friend unraveled everything.

Welcome to another episode of The Unlovely Truth. I’m your host, private investigator Lori Morrison. Join me for another captivating true crime story, where physical, spiritual, and emotional safety takeaways are waiting for us. 

This is Season 5, Episode 9. Our book this week is “Wilder Intentions: Love, Lies, and Murder in North Dakota” and our guest is Dr. Mary Foley, the Executive Director at Merryman House Domestic Crisis Center in Paducah, Kentucky. We will check in with Mary after we investigate this fascinating book. We’ll also talk about ideas for how anyone can be what I call a different kind of P.I. - not a private investigator like me but a person of impact in your community. 

For a lot of us, the term “domestic violence” makes us think about spouses or intimate partners. But most states have expanded the definition to include former spouses and parents who share children in common. One scenario I hadn’t seen before I reviewed this case was a tag-team partnership. Once Angila Wilder was in the sights of just such a pair, she never stood a chance. 

In November of 2015, the busy mom of three had recently found out that baby number 4 was on the way. She had mentioned to her live-in fiancee, Christopher Jackson, that she felt like someone was watching her. She even thought that she’d heard someone rattle their door at night while he was at work. She was right. 

This week I want to read a passage from Ephesians. Very often, abusive husbands who are part of a faith community will quote Ephesians 22-24 about wives submitting to their husbands. Let’s talk about what follows that - the part about what Scriptures says a man’s responsibilities in a marital relationship are.

 

Ephesians 5:25-27

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.

 

It sounds to me like the spouse called to a higher standard of behavior is the husband - not the wife. Husbands are called to constantly perform acts of self-sacrificial love for their wives in the very ideal of Christ himself. They don’t use Scripture to subjugate us but to cleanse us. Our imperfections are lovingly washed away to make us holy. 

Ladies - who wouldn’t want to follow a leader like this? This is true love. Don’t settle for the Hollywood version of it. Each and every one of you deserves an earthly love who is striving to love this way. And even if you don’t have a man in your life who is willing and able to humble himself in submission to this Scripture right now, you do have someone who loves you and serves you like this. Jesus. You are beautiful and worthy to Him just as you are in this moment.

Let me know what you thought of this episode! Send me an email a lori@theunlovelytruth.com or message me on social media. I love it when people are willing to have those hard, but impactful conversations!

I want to remind you that I’m on a mission to see a revival sparked by churches genuinely safeguarding not just the physical safety, but the emotional and spiritual safety of their congregations and communities as well. I've worn multiple hats – church staffer, church security team member, domestic violence court paralegal, private investigator – and I've seen it all. Now, I want to come alongside church leaders, crafting customized safety blueprints that fit each church’s unique needs and accounting for their unique resources and culture.

I'm not just here to talk; I'm here to walk with church leaders. I’m in this for the long haul, attending live trainings, constantly learning, and bringing that knowledge back to my clients. If you’re interested, let's chat! Set up a call today, and we will investigate your needs together. Because church safety isn't just a job for me – it's my passion. I’m looking forward to helping you make your church a true sanctuary.

Visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com. 

 

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