The Unlovely Truth

Season 4, Episode 17: Teen Violence: Facing Our Fears to Make an Impact

Are you ready to learn how to turn fear into fuel if you find yourself in a sketchy situation?
This topic can positively impact every single person on the planet - I truly believe that.
My guest is Tony Blauer. Coach Blauer has been in the martial art, self-defense, defensive tactics, and combatives industry for over four decades. He founded Blauer Tactical Systems (BTS) in 1985 and it has grown into one of the world's leading consulting companies specializing in the research and development of performance psychology, personal safety, and close-quarter tactics & scenario-based training for law enforcement, military, and professional self-defense instructors.
His research on the neuroscience of fear and the startle-flinch led to the development of the SPEAR System®, a modern personal defense system based on physiology, physics, and psychology. It has been used by defensive tactics and combative trainers all over the world for over 30 years. After decades of interviewing victims of violent encounters and studying violence, he created the KNOW FEAR® program which focuses on managing fear through self-awareness, resiliency, and a 'movement' mindset. This program has also been integrated by psychologists helping Vets to deal with PTSD.
This week’s case centers on two young men who sent up plenty of red flags, but all were ignored. Even when one of them said he was planning to murder someone. Our Scripture this week is 2 Timothy 1:7-8.
Highlights from this episode include:
Learning red flags to look for in teens’ behavior
Discovering how to use fear as fuel
Finding out how to effectively spot danger
Hearing how one woman saved herself from a dangerous situation
If you found great takeaways in this episode, you’ll love this episode:
Season 4, Episode 4: Surviving: Doing Whatever You Need to Do
Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.
Here are some ways to learn more about Tony, and connect with him:
Free guide MAKING FRIENDS WITH FEAR
Tony’s main website
The GARAGE GYM SELF-DEFENSE - Online training with Coach Blauer
ESSENTIALS OF PERSONAL SAFETY - 2-hour LIVE online course
KNOW FEAR podcast
The "BE YOUR OWN BODYGUARD " Publication - Join Coach Blauer's community
Album on Tony’s website
Facebook albums
Instagram personal
Instagram training page
Website
Training Calendar
Bleep Sound Effect courtesy of Pixabay

Season 4, Episode 16: The Decision to Kill: A Teenage Killer and the Mother Who Loved Him by Leslie Ghiglieri

Do you ever ask yourself this: why do I watch the news anymore? TV, print media, and social media make it seem like violent crime is happening all around us, all the time. What irks me is that once the shock factor is over, so few voices are giving us information about how to respond when tragedy does land at our doorstep. Today’s guest is going to do just that.
Each of us who is a parent knows what it’s like to be in a tough season with our kids. We need the support of others who have been there and survived! For all of us who are seasoned parents, I want to challenge us to find a parent who is in a tough season right now, and see if they would be open to you helping them. Whether that’s just being someone who will listen to them when they need to talk, or being more involved - the important thing is that we work together. That’s how we will make our families, our loved ones, and our communities just a little bit safer.
I’m excited that we get to talk to the author of this week’s book, Leslie Ghiglieri. Leslie has a degree in political science and has worked on numerous political campaigns. Her interest in the criminal justice field led her to work as a 911 dispatcher in California. After moving to Oregon, she joined the Josephine County Sheriff’s Department working in the dispatch and warrants divisions for three years, then accepted a position as a field representative for a criminal justice computer system overseeing the needs of seventeen agencies. Now retired, she was able to fulfill the wish of a friend to document the story of her husband’s murder and share a surprising message of encouragement.
Today I want us to dig into a passage from Scripture about loving our enemies. It’s from Matthew 5 verses 43 through 47.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?”
It’s hard to imagine any of our precious children as enemies. But there are times that we feel like we are in a battle together, and we aren’t on the same side. Cherie wasn’t on the same side of the battle as Dwayne, yet she prayed for him. She encouraged him. She loved him. She wasn’t looking for a reward, she was just trying to be obedient.
What a great example for us! And notice what it says in the second half of verse 45; that God sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. We are all going to have tough times in life. We will probably all have tough times with our kids. What we don’t want to do is automatically assume that because they are our kids, their behavior is our responsibility - especially the older they get. We do our best, but they decide how they will behave. If anyone out there is suffering because they have a child making bad choices and they feel responsible - please only take ownership of what you did or didn’t do. Your son or daughter is responsible for the rest.
If you liked this episode, you’ll want to listen to these:
Season 3, Episode 10: Murder in the Family
Season 2, Episode 19: How do I Forgive? "Murder by Family" by Kent Whitaker
Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.
Buy “The Decision to Kill: A True Crime Story of a Teenage Killer and the Mother Who Loved Him” here
Connect with Leslie here

Season 4, Episode 15: Therapist or Sexual Predator? How Do We Learn Who We Can Trust?

We tend to trust people who are in positions of power, or who hold down jobs that are service oriented like a doctor, a pastor, or a therapist. Amy Nordhues trusted her therapist. Everyone in her community loved him. Her friend raved about him. He was an elder at the church she was attending. Amy didn’t know it, but he was also very, very dangerous.
Our book this week is Preyed Upon: Breaking Free from Therapist Abuse and our guest is its author, Amy Nordhues. Amy is an author and speaker who hopes to use her experience both as a new Christian and as a victim of sexual abuse by a therapist/clergy to help, support and educate others. Through the telling of her very personal story she hopes to provide insight into the following: The inner workings of the abuse process of adult victims, how past childhood abuse can make an adult vulnerable to predators and so much more.
I do want to caution everyone that while we won’t be getting graphic, we will be discussing sexual abuse, and abuse by a trusted therapist. Please use your discretion about whether this is an episode that won’t trigger anything for you.
Luke 8:16-18
“Now no one lights a lamp and then covers it with a container [to hide it], or puts it under a bed; instead, he puts it on a lampstand, so that those who come in may see the light. For there is nothing hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come out into the open. So be careful how you listen; for whoever has [a teachable heart], to him more [understanding] will be given; and whoever does not have [a longing for truth], even what he thinks he has will be taken away from him.”
There’s a lot going on here in this short parable. Jesus dives right into what the purpose of a lamp is - to give light to people. What light does is to drive out darkness.
How can we expect people to want to hear the gospel when it comes out that we are hiding and excusing sin? The news is full of stories that involve trusted members of a faith community who are abusing others in secret. Why are we shocked when the world doesn't trust us, when they call us hypocrites? We want to make our churches safe for the people in our congregations, but also for people who have been hurt and aren’t sure where they can find a safe refuge. That’s part of what author Amy Nordhues shared with us today. I hope you’ll take something you’ve learned here and help your church become a light in the darkness in your community.
Can you trust everyone in your church? Not always. Listen here for Season 3, Episode 12: Bitter Jealousy: The Murder that Shocked a Small Town Church
Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.
Buy Amy’s book here
Learn more about Amy here
Buy my book, How to Kick Fear to the Curb: Private Investigator Approved Personal Safety Tips with Biblical Evidence to "Fear Not", here

Season 4, Episode 14: What is a Clear Alert? A Look at Different Alerts and What They Mean

We’ve all been startled by the noise on our phones when an Amber alert is issued near where we are. You’ve probably also heard of Silver alerts, but what about Blue Alerts, Camo Alerts, Clear Alerts or even Feather Alerts? Me neither, so let’s investigate what they all mean.
Sharing alerts is an easy way to be a Person of Impact. Even if you don’t personally have a connection to any alerts that you see, you might have someone in your circle who does. Social media can have positive effects on our society when we use it to share important information like alerts that let us know that someone vulnerable is at risk. While you’re sharing, ask them to share it with their friends, too. If we all work together, we can make our communities safer places for ourselves and our loved ones.
It’s easy to think that we won’t ever need to know about these alerts because they will never affect us or anyone we know. That same false sense of security can creep into our churches as well. We don’t want to believe that sometimes we need an alert there too! Paul shared with the early church some words that we need to apply to our faith communities today. Let’s read Acts 20:28-35:
Keep watch over yourselves. Keep watch over all the believers. The Holy Spirit has made you leaders over them. Be shepherds of God’s church. He bought it with his own blood. I know that after I leave, wild wolves will come in among you. They won’t spare any of the sheep. Even men from your own people will rise up and twist the truth. They want to get the believers to follow them. So be on your guard! Remember that for three years I never stopped warning you. Night and day I warned each of you with tears.
“Now I trust God to take care of you. I commit you to the message about his grace. It can build you up. Then you will share in what God plans to give all his people. I haven’t longed for anyone’s silver or gold or clothing. You yourselves know that I have used my own hands to meet my needs. I have also met the needs of my companions. In everything I did, I showed you that we must work hard and help the weak. We must remember the words of the Lord Jesus. He said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”
We need to be on the alert for those wild wolves who try to introduce twisted teaching that can lead to abuses and hurts of all kinds. This was so important to Paul that he warned the early church for three years to the point that he broke down in tears. He has been faithful to shepherd the church, now he is pleading with them to do the same once he leaves.
Too many churches struggle here. When we have so many people who are being hurt in or by the church, how can we expect those who don’t know Jesus to think that we have anything to offer them? Let’s be sure that we are giving more to the church than we are expecting it to give to us. That’s how we are going to keep the wild wolves in check and show our communities that we are safe places for them to come for fellowship and to have their needs met.
If you've got any information on Borges Diaz's whereabouts, please contact the Miami Dade Police Department Special Victims Bureau/Missing Persons Squad at 307-715-3300. You can also call Crimestoppers at 305-471-TIPS. That's 305-471-8477.
Season 3, Episode 48: Twelve Years Gone: Where Are the Skelton Brothers? Listen here.
Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.
Want to learn how to keep yourself, your family, and your community safer AND how to not be afraid while doing it? Grab a copy of my book here.

Season 4, Episode 13: Leaving the FLDS, Part 3: Judgment Day

Cult Leader Warren Jeffs was on the run. Stories of abuse from former members of the FLDS were coming to light, including some which could bring criminal charges. In 2006, Warren made the FBI’s Most Wanted List. Even in hiding, Warren was continuing to collect young wives. One of his latest was only 12 years old.
We are wrapping up our deep dive into The Witness Wore Red by Rebecca Musser. She’s an author, activist, mom, and was the 19th wife of Rulon Jeffs, Warren Jeffs’ father. We found some great takeaways from Rebecca’s story over the last two weeks, so if you haven’t listened to those you can follow the links in the show notes to get caught up.
Our Bible passage for this week is 2 Peter 2:1-3:
But [in those days] false prophets arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will subtly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction on themselves. Many will follow their shameful ways, and because of them the way of truth will be maligned. And in their greed they will exploit you with false arguments and twisted doctrine. Their sentence [of condemnation which God has decreed] from a time long ago is not idle [but is still in force], and their destruction and deepening misery is not asleep [but is on its way].
I want us to focus in on one particular sentence from this passage. “And in their greed they will exploit you with false arguments and twisted doctrine.” We often associate the word greed with money, and that’s often the focus of people’s greed. But one definition of greed calls it an intense and selfish desire for something, especially wealth, power, or food. In this case, Warren and many other FLDS men showed an insatiable lust for with underage girls, but also for the power and sense of control their actions gave them.
Any of us can be the objects of someone’s desire for control. Even if we willingly join their group or sit under their teaching, they aren’t there to help people but to exploit them as the scripture we read says. Whenever you notice someone in a position of authority who is getting more out of it than the people they are in authority over, that’s a problem that can easily lead to abuse
I’ll bet you or someone you know is in a situation like that right now. And it may not be abusive now, or just not towards you, but we all need to keep our eyes open, and our hearts as well. It’s so easy to deny what we are seeing because we’ve trusted the person who is acting in questionable ways. One thing I’ve learned from working with and talking to people who have had their trust horribly abused is that they are almost never their abuser’s only victim. You aren’t alone, you’re not crazy, you’re not over-reacting. You have the right to share what’s happening with as many people as you need to until you find an ally who can help stop the abuse.
If you’ve dealt with a situation like this, I’d love to hear from you and learn from how you handled it. Shoot an email to lori@theunlovelytruth.com or message me on social media. I put all of the ways you can contact me in the show notes.
If you liked this episode, be sure to check out some earlier ones. I’ve had so many amazing guests who gave me fantastic information you won’t want to miss. You can also help someone else begin their journey as a different kind of PI - a person of impact, when you share the episode, and when you subscribe, give me a five star rating and a nice review.
Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.
You can also connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.
If you want to listen to another episode about cults, check out this link:
Season 1, Episode 49: Without a Prayer
Listen to parts 1 & 2:
Season 4, Episode 11: Leaving the FLDS, Part 1: How Do You Spot False Teachings?
Season 4, Episode 12: Leaving the FLDS, Part 2: Control and Abuse
Buy The Witness Wore Red and check out Rebecca Musser’s website
Get Your Copy of my book here
Find other helpful information at:
Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment (GRACE)
daretodoubt.org,
Article from Mary DeMuth and
Relevant Magazine article

Season 4, Episode 12: Leaving the FLDS, Part 2: Control and Abuse

Have you ever brought up a concern in your church, only to be labeled as an enemy of the faith? Do your leaders exhibit a troubling lack of humility? Are you sure you would recognize spiritual abuse if you saw it?
Our book this week is The Witness Wore Red by Rebecca Musser. She’s an author, activist, mom, and was the 19th wife of Rulon Jeffs, Warren Jeffs’ father. This is part 2 of a three-part deep dive on this case. We found some great takeaways from Rebecca’s story last week so if you haven’t listened to that one you can follow the link in the show notes to get caught up on Rebecca’s growing up years - the ones before Warren Jeff’s took control of the cult.
Cults have always fascinated me. From the outside looking in, we wonder how people could believe some of what we see as outrageous teachings. Some are born into the teaching and know nothing else. Others, searching for meaning, fulfillment, and community, willing go along with teachings that are contrary to Scripture. As believers, instead of shunning people who are different or are seeking, we need to engage with them. If you haven’t seen the movie Jesus Revolution, I highly recommend it. A clash of cultures could’ve been a disaster if not for a handful of people who were willing to look past external differences to share the love of God.
This week, let’s investigate John 8:3-11:
As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
“No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
When I’ve listened to this passage being taught, the emphasis is usually on Jesus’s interaction with the woman, or how he puts the Pharisees in their place. But I want us to focus on verses 6 and 7. Picture the scene. A crowd had once again gathered to hear Jesus teach - at the temple no less. The place where the teachers of the law and the Pharisees were used to being in charge. In the spotlight.
So they tried to trap Jesus. They weren’t interested in upholding the law, and they certainly weren’t thinking about how they could help the woman live a God-honoring life. They wanted to take down someone they saw as a threat to their power and control. They were committing spiritual abuse.
When Jesus didn’t take their bait, they continued to ask over and over whether the woman should be stoned or not. When he finally gave his famous answer that the one who was without sin could cast the first stone, they walked away. They couldn’t accept corrective teaching. Remember, they were at the temple. Their turf. But they were willing to walk away rather than even consider that Jesus could be right, and they could be wrong.
If you have leaders like that in your church, or at your workplace, or in any type of relationship - I want to ask you to check out links to the resources I’ve put in the show notes. If you are experiencing spiritual abuse, I want you to have information to help you address it. I’m no expert, but you can certainly reach out to me as well and I will do what I can to put you in touch with the help you need.
If you’ve dealt with a situation like this, I’d love to hear from you and learn from how you handled it. Shoot an email to lori@theunlovelytruth.com or message me on social media. I put all of the ways you can contact me below.
If you liked this episode, be sure to check out some earlier ones. I’ve had so many amazing guests who gave me fantastic information you won’t want to miss. You can also help someone else begin their journey as a different kind of PI - a person of impact, when you share the episode, and when you subscribe, give me a five-star rating and a nice review.
Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.
You can also connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.
If you want to listen to another episode about cults, check out this link:
Season 1, Episode 49: Without a Prayer
Listen to part 1:
Season 4, Episode 11: Leaving the FLDS, Part 1: How Do You Spot False Teachings?
Buy The Witness Wore Red and check out Rebecca Musser’s website
Find other helpful information at daretodoubt.org, https://www.marydemuth.com/spiritual-abuse-10-ways-to-spot-it/ and https://relevantmagazine.com/faith/church/its-time-address-spiritual-abuse-church/

Season 4, Episode 11: Leaving the FLDS, Part 1: How Do You Spot False Teachings?

If you had been told all through your childhood that people outside your faith are plotting to hurt you, you might feel safer sticking close to people who believe just like you do, even if you knew that at least some of what you are being taught is wrong. Would you have the courage to leave it all behind, have your family and friends disown you, and become, in the words of men like Warren Jeffs, an apostate?
Our book this week is The Witness Wore Red, by Rebecca Musser. She’s an author, activist, mom, and was the 19th wife of Rulon Jeffs, Warren Jeffs’ father. We’re doing a three-part deep dive on this case because there are so many great takeaways from Rebecca’s story. Cults have always fascinated me. From the outside looking in, we wonder how people could believe some of what we see as outrageous teachings. Some are born into the teaching and know nothing else. Others, searching for meaning, fulfillment, and community willingly go along with teachings that are contrary to Scripture.
As believers, instead of shunning people who are different or are seeking, we need to engage with them. If you haven’t seen the movie Jesus Revolution, I highly recommend it. A clash of cultures could’ve been a disaster without a handful of people who were willing to look past external differences to share the love of God. Let’s look at Paul’s words from Galatians 1:6-10 to see what he says about groups that preach a Gospel other than Christ’s:
“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let them be under God’s curse! Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
This idea of turning to a different gospel which is no gospel at all is so relevant to studying cults. With the FLDS, it’s very obvious that their teaching adds to and even contradicts the Bible. But what if we suspect that our church, or a Bible Study we attend, or something a friend is getting involved with - what if we see them straying from Scripture? I think the first thing to do is check what is being taught against the Word of God. When Paul wrote his second letter to the church in Corinth, he warned them to be on guard against people who were not only treating them terribly but also teaching a different gospel. That’s exactly what the FLDS leaders were doing. And if we aren’t careful, we can fall victim to the same type of scam. Even in a scripturally-based church, things can get a little off the mark. That’s what most of Paul’s letters were about! But when we know the Word for ourselves, we can easily spot when a teaching misses the mark. Ask to share your viewpoint with them. If they refuse, contact your church’s leadership. If they agree with the false teaching or refuse to confront the error because the teacher is a popular one - then it may be time to find another church. I know that can be very hard but it’s so very important to have humble leaders who value Biblical Truth. If you’ve dealt with a situation like this, I’d love to hear from you and learn from how you handled it. Shoot an email to lori@theunlovelytruth.com or message me on social media.
If you liked this episode, be sure to check out some earlier ones. I’ve had so many amazing guests who gave me fantastic information you won’t want to miss. You can also help someone else begin their journey as a different kind of PI - a person of impact, when you share the episode, and when you subscribe, give me a five star rating and a nice review.
Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.
You can also connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.
If you want to listen to another episode about cults, check out this link:
Season 1, Episode 49: Without a Prayer
For information on separating from a harmful belief system, visit daretodoubt.org
Buy The Witness Wore Red
Check out Rebecca Musser’s website

Season 4, Episode 10: Cult Guru or Serial Killer: Who Murdered Patricia Hicks?

For many years, a set of remains found in Yosemite National Park were known as Summit Meadow Jane Doe. Just over a year ago, genetic genealogy revealed that the remains belonged to a woman named Patricia Hicks. Just 27 years old when the last credible sighting of her is recorded, Patricia had moved to Merced, California, after her marriage ended. Like a lot of us, she wanted a fresh start - but that wasn’t what she got.
Let’s take a look at Matthew chapter 7, verses 15-20 from Jesus’ famous Sermon on the Mount. Just like he always does, he gives us incredibly practical wisdom to help us navigate this broken world we live in. Let’s read that passage, then break it down into three easy to apply practices that will help us know who to trust and who just might be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.
Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.
Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.”
First, we need to shift our mindset to trusting after practicing discernment. Separate the sheep from the wolves in sheep’s clothing by examining them closely. We need to make determinations about people based on facts we discover through our own investigations. Don’t rely completely on what you’ve been told about a person - especially BY that person - but on what you can see for yourself.
Second, make sure people pass “the smell test” before you trust them! We’ve all had that carton of milk that’s been in the fridge maybe just a wee bit too long and we have to sniff it before we can trust that it’s safe to put in our coffee. We need to use that same test on people! If you just aren’t sure about someone, be sure you check them out before you let them into your inner circle.
Third, make “NO” your new favorite word. Can your son go somewhere alone with the youth pastor? No. Can the most popular teacher at school drive your daughter home from babysitting his kids? No. Look at your reflection in your cell phone. Say “No.” See how strong you look when that word rolls off of your tongue?
It is important to learn how to recognize a false prophet for when, not if, we encounter them. It says in Matthew 24:24 “For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect.” I certainly don’t want that to happen to me or to you, so I hope you’ll practice these three steps
If you liked this episode, be sure to check out some earlier ones. I’ve had so many amazing guests who gave me fantastic information you won’t want to miss. You can also help someone else begin their journey as a different kind of PI - a person of impact, when you share the episode, and when you subscribe, give me a five star rating and a nice review.
Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.
Anyone who has information about the disappearance or death of Patricia Hicks, please contact the National Parks Service Investigative Services Branch at 202-379-4761. You can also send an email to nps_isb@nps.gov.
Season 2, Episode 34: Can You Solve This Crime?
Season 2, Episode 14: The Cold Case Murder of 10-Year-Old Joshua Lee Walden

Season 4, Episode 9: Like Ripples in Water: The Effects of Incarceration on Families

When a loved one is in prison, you’re serving a sentence of your own. The experience can break you, or shape you. Learn how today’s guest was able to overcome a system seemingly designed to tear families apart and have it ultimately bring hers closer together.
Our book this week is My Incarcerated Life, and our guest is the book’s author, Qiana Riley-Jones. Qiana is a wife, mother, military veteran, nurse, and businesswoman.
Remember the story from the second chapter of Mark where Jesus called Matthew to be one of the Twelve? Matthew had been a tax collector for the Romans and people knew that he probably over-charged, then skimmed off part of the money collected. So the Jews didn’t have a very high opinion of tax collectors. They considered them thieves of the worst kind. When Jesus shared a meal with Matthew and other assorted folks that the Pharisees and teachers of the law called “sinners”, the religious leaders were upset, and said so. Let’s read Jesus’ response from verse 17.
“When Jesus heard this, he told them, ‘Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.’”
It’s unclear if Jesus is directing His response to the religious leaders or to his dinner companions. But it’s crystal clear that Jesus knew the importance of ministering where the spiritual need is greatest. Having helped with Bible studies in a jail, I can tell you they are places of tremendous spiritual need. The women I was blessed to meet gave me a much greater appreciation for God’s hand in my life, and it made me want that for them - no matter what they had done to get themselves where they were.
I want us to look at Romans 3:10 - “As the Scriptures say, ‘No one is good—no one in all the world is innocent.’”
That’s why we need a Savior as desperately as any jail inmate. That’s why God sees us all the same. That’s why WE need to look at every person the same. And I know that’s hard. It’s so contrary to man’s fallen nature. But as believers we have something inside us that can overcome that and allow us to see as God sees. That’s the Holy Spirit. He can help us minister to people who, like Jesus said, know they are sinners. When you do, you’ll make a positive ripple effect of your own on countless people.
Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.
Get your copy of My Incarcerated Life
Connect with Qiana
Check out the work of Prison Fellowship
And Kairos Prison Ministry International
Listen to similar episodes:
Season 3, Episode 8: Prison Saved My Life
Season 2, Episode 41: The Redemption of Bobby Love: A Story of Faith, Family, and Justice
Season 2, Episode 8: A Prisoner's Perspective: The Redemption of a Criminal Mastermind

Season 4, Episode 8: Domestic Violence Statistics Don’t Lie: Meet the Man Trying to Change Them

If you Google the words “Domestic Violence Statistics”, you’ll find some very sobering information. Did you know that according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence (and they give the examples of being beaten, burned, or strangled) by an intimate partner in their lifetime? I worked for a short time in a domestic violence court as a victim’s advocate, and I can tell you that the stat I just quoted is NOT an exaggeration.
We’re going to talk about a case that shows domestic violence in its most extreme form on this episode of The Unlovely Truth. If you think that no one in your church or your family or your group of friends is being abused, I hate to tell you that you’re wrong. And just leaving isn’t always an option. Our guest today knows that, and he’s doing something about it. You can too. I believe every Christian’s calling is to be a different kind of PI - a person of impact. Stick around because I’ll give you a practical step to do just that.
Our book this week is “Love Lies: a True Story of Marriage and Murder in the Suburbs”, and our guest is John Peace, Co-Owner of Safe Haven Services which provides private digital security box rentals that can help victims of domestic violence escape unsafe relationships.
Abusers who call themselves followers of Christ often use Ephesians 5:22-24 as a way to justify their actions. But these verses aren’t meant to stand alone. We need to continue reading and investigate verses 25-30 as well:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body.”
God was very specific that men are supposed to love their wives the same way that they love and take care of their own bodies. Abuse in any form has no place in a marriage, or any relationship. A healthy marital relationship mirrors the relationship between Christ and His Church. Neither God nor His Word permits or condones abusive behavior in a marriage or any other relationship.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233. And check out what help is available from Safe Haven Services.
Is your church a safe place for victims of domestic violence?
Season 3, Episode 44: Domestic Violence: There is Help Available
Season 2, Episode 37: Why Do Abuse Victims Stay: "Every Breath You Take" by Ann Rule
Please visit my website to access more episodes, read my blog posts, or check out ways you can financially support the podcast so that together we can impact more people, more families, and more communities. If you would like to contact me about booking me as a speaker, or ask about my consulting and investigative services, please email me at lori@theunlovelytruth.com.
Get your copy of “Love Lies: a True Story of Marriage and Murder in the Suburbs”
Want Private Investigator approved safety tips? Grab a copy of my book.